Well, here it is...
My first post for this not-so-new year... Looking back, a lot of things sure happened last year... and all those things really teach me what life is... Frustration, sadness and a tiny mini mere happiness... It's okay, past is past and don't let the past seize your future from your grasp...
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Indeed, is very true.... Somehow, it's easier to soothe me now whenever I have problem especially problem regarding 'him'. Now, I just want to divert my attention from him as far away as possible and focus more on this year. This year is the biggest moment of my life, my future depends on how well I do for my final exam this year and how good I am in the upcoming Trial Exam and placement interview.
Earlier this year, sad to say but I hate myself. I lost to him again. I replied his text again after 6 months of endurance. Stupid me. As expected, he disappoint me, over and over again. With no one to tell and no one to comfort me, there I was, crying myself to sleep again and back to normal the very next day. People around me perceive me as cold-hearted, hard-headed, friendless, socially awkward, introvert and everything less human. *sigh. If only someone knew how I lived my up until today for all this while and how I kept everything inside by myself, I'm pretty sure that none of you would stand a chance to keep standing up like I did. I am not cold-hearted, I just don't want to publicize my private life and show everyone how weak I am when it comes to love.
From now on, I won't give a damn about love. Yup... I don't care anymore. Stop telling me you love me after just a few weeks of knowing me. I hate that kind of confession the most. I am not a fool. It's totally fake and of zero trust from me. To 'that other guy', you can do whatever you want. I ll live my life and do my job, with or without you. You should know me well enough for these past 6 years that I won't let personal problems to interfere with my accomplishment. You hurt me? Ok, fine! I ll still score my papers. My heart might be full of scars..but never will I let those scars to take my success away from me. Even if it hurts deeply inside...
A new me for this new year of glory. Buck up, girl!
